Well, wasn't that a week of fantasy football results to remember? Let's dive right in, shall we? STROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN and Burrow This L battled it out in a tightly contested matchup, with Burrow This L narrowly edging out their opponent by a mere 0.74 points. Talk about a nail-biter! In a display of pure dominance, captain beef absolutely steamrolled Suce mes billes, posting a whopping 164.78 points. Looks like someone's been studying their playbook. Bones Knows probably wishes they could've used their team name as an excuse for their abysmal performance against Marty Cold Cutz. Getting outscored by nearly 74 points? Ouch, that's gotta sting. Rotenheimer flexed their fantasy muscles, amassing an impressive 163.34 points to handily defeat King of Brentwood. Looks like someone's been hitting the weight room – and the waiver wire. BIG LUMBER might want to consider changing their name to LITTLE LUMBER after that pitiful 93.42 point showing against DaCreamist. Did they even bother setting their lineup this week? And last but not least, Matty Ice Tea got absolutely frozen out by Nutty Toilets. Scoring under 100 points in a crucial week? That's a performance so cold, it could turn liquid nitrogen into a popsicle. With results like these, it's no wonder the loser of this league has to take on the dreaded Meat Mountain from Arby's. Better start practicing those jaw exercises, folks – you're going to need them.
Jonathan Taylor (captain beef): 39.80 points
Well, it seems like both teams brought their A-game this week, but someone had to come out on top. STROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN edged out a narrow victory with a final score of 115.04 to Burrow This L's 115.78. Standout performances included Deebo Samuel Sr.'s stellar 25.10 points for STROUD and Keenan Allen's impressive 29.10 for Burrow This L. While some players may have underperformed, others picked up the slack, making for an entertaining and tight matchup. Kudos to both teams for keeping things interesting until the very end!
STROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN: 115.04 points (Loss)
Burrow This L: 115.78 points (Win)
Oof, this matchup was a real rollercoaster ride! captain beef came out swinging with powerhouse performances from Jonathan Taylor and Davante Adams, while Suce mes billes had to rely on the dynamic duo of Ja'Marr Chase and Kyler Murray to keep things interesting. In the end, captain beef's depth and balanced scoring across multiple positions proved too much for Suce mes billes to overcome, despite Brian Thomas Jr.'s valiant efforts. Better luck next time, Suce mes billes – you'll need more than just Chase and Murray firing on all cylinders to take down a juggernaut like captain beef.
captain beef: 164.78 points (Win)
Suce mes billes: 124.98 points (Loss)
Ouch, talk about a mismatch! Bones Knows got utterly dominated by Marty Cold Cutz in this fantasy showdown. While Garrett Wilson and Puka Nacua put in respectable efforts, the rest of Bones' squad was basically a no-show. On the flip side, Marty's team was firing on all cylinders, with studs like James Cook, Brock Bowers, and Jayden Daniels leading the charge. Even overlooked talents like Malik Nabers and Ladd McConkey chipped in admirably. It was a complete beatdown that left Bones wondering if they should just hang up their cleats this season.
Bones Knows: 99.08 points (Loss)
Marty Cold Cutz: 172.52 points (Win)
What a rollercoaster of a matchup! Rotenheimer's squad came out swinging, with Justin Jefferson and Mark Andrews delivering knockout performances. James Conner and Brock Purdy also packed a punch, while Kyren Williams and DeVonta Smith provided solid backup. Even the Vikings D/ST and Jake Elliott got in on the action, making it a true team effort. As for King of Brentwood, well, let's just say they may want to consider hitting the waiver wire. Josh Allen and Travis Etienne Jr. failed to show up, leaving Tee Higgins, A.J. Brown, and Tyreek Hill to carry the load. The Eagles D/ST and Chris Boswell did their part, but it wasn't enough to overcome Rotenheimer's onslaught. Better luck next week, King of Brentwood – or maybe consider a roster shake-up.
Rotenheimer: 163.34 points (Win)
King of Brentwood: 105.16 points (Loss)
Oh boy, this matchup was a real rollercoaster ride! While BIG LUMBER had a few bright spots with Baker Mayfield and Terry McLaurin putting up respectable numbers, the rest of their lineup was a bit of a dud. Meanwhile, DaCreamist came out swinging with Saquon Barkley and the Falcons D/ST leading the charge. It was a one-sided affair, with DaCreamist's squad outperforming their opponents in almost every position. BIG LUMBER might want to hit the waiver wire and make some adjustments for next week's clash.
BIG LUMBER: 93.42 points (Loss)
DaCreamist: 157.38 points (Win)
Well, it seems like Nutty Toilets had a solid outing this week, thanks to standout performances from De'Von Achane and Jahmyr Gibbs in the backfield, along with George Kittle's reliable production at tight end. Jared Goff also chipped in with a respectable showing under center. On the other hand, Matty Ice Tea had a few bright spots, like Bijan Robinson and David Njoku, but couldn't quite keep up due to lackluster efforts from Jalen Hurts and the Denver defense. DJ Moore and DK Metcalf did their part, but it ultimately wasn't enough to overcome Nutty Toilets' onslaught. Better luck next time, Matty Ice Tea!
Matty Ice Tea: 99.14 points (Loss)
Nutty Toilets: 126.94 points (Win)
| teamId | teamName | wins | losses | pointsFor | pointsAgainst | owner | lowestScoringTeam | playoffSeed |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 12.00 | Burrow This L | 11.00 | 3.00 | 1679.50 | 1598.24 | Burrow This L | 0.00 | 1.00 |
| 8.00 | Marty Cold Cutz | 8.00 | 6.00 | 1709.12 | 1656.66 | Marty Cold Cutz | 0.00 | 2.00 |
| 9.00 | Suce mes billes | 8.00 | 6.00 | 1680.78 | 1554.14 | Suce mes billes | 0.00 | 3.00 |
| 4.00 | captain beef | 8.00 | 6.00 | 1638.80 | 1729.26 | captain beef | 0.00 | 4.00 |
| 2.00 | Bones Knows 🫡 | 8.00 | 6.00 | 1619.00 | 1650.66 | Bones Knows | 0.00 | 5.00 |
| 13.00 | King of Brentwood | 6.00 | 8.00 | 1784.08 | 1777.52 | King of Brentwood | 0.00 | 6.00 |
| 14.00 | DaCreamist | 6.00 | 8.00 | 1701.96 | 1624.02 | DaCreamist | 0.00 | 7.00 |
| 5.00 | Bo Nix DroppedC ock on ATL | 8.00 | 6.00 | 1560.66 | 1580.26 | STROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN | 0.00 | |
| 1.00 | Drew Pebauls | 6.00 | 8.00 | 1603.50 | 1525.24 | Rotenheimer | 15.00 | |
| 10.00 | Nutty Toilets | 6.00 | 8.00 | 1567.38 | 1614.58 | Nutty Toilets | 0.00 | |
| 7.00 | Matty Ice Tea | 5.00 | 9.00 | 1626.24 | 1615.30 | Matty Ice Tea | 0.00 | |
| 11.00 | BIG LUMBER | 4.00 | 10.00 | 1520.32 | 1765.46 | BIG LUMBER | 1.00 |